I ask this question because I have wondered about it. It's deeper than folks just asking, is that your child, it's almost like how in the hell did I get the child. Surely it wasn't...well you know. And then blacks feel the need to point out to me that oh she's starting to look just like a light skin black girl. Can someone translate this for me? Are they saying she doesn't look mixed, only light skin black, as if light skin black is lesser than looking mixed. What in the hell is wrong with people? These are children! They are not to be judged or mistreated because they are the product of an interracial relationhip, have a black mother, or whatever the case may be!

Hello Spice,

Oftentimes, Black people make remarks about Mixed children by saying things like that to validate their blackness. It's ignorance because Biracial children can have a more or less European appearance...based on genes. That doesn't make them less or more Black because there's a 50/50 admixture of both races. Some Whites have a hard time accepting that Black females can have White looking children. It's going back to stereotypical images of what Black is supposed to look like. It's so pathetic to me that for people to make generalizations based on what they believe someone should look like. I really don't have time for that kind of biased mentality.

I'm dark skin, so I can say this until someone jumps in and try to check me, but if anything at all is said towards a dark skin person, it's not allowed. And trust me, I know the reasons for that, but at the end of the day, you still have hurt feelings, dark or light skin or whatevever, someone has been hurt by these words. My child still doesn't really get it but she's catching on and noticing things. We've been around my family more since I've seperated and she's having to try harder to fit in. I don't always run to her rescue but I notice everything that goes on.

I don't have any kids but I know three people who are the product of this type of relationship and one of them is a family member.

In two of their cases, my guy friends, they tend to refer to themselves as being "White" like their Fathers. The 19 year old could pass as Daddy Yankee's double (and I tell him that all the time) and the 22 year old is Mariah Carey's complexion with silky Black hair like a Barbie Doll (I tell him that all the time too).

I dunno how them having a Black Mother affects how people treat them. I think it's their looks that affect how they are treated. People call them pretty boys, and tell them how they better thank they Daddy for their good hair, and all that jazz that some Black people say about mixed people. I personally don't like the "good hair" stuff but I don't wanna start that one here.

Me, personally, when I found out they had Black Mom's, and White Dad's, I was kinda intreged cause you usually see the other way around.

In my family member's case, she is in her 90's so obviously she grew up in a different time. She never knew her White Father, as he just "hit it and quit it" when it came to her Mom. She looks very White. She always told us this story that happened to her Mom when she was a child. They were walking down the street and a White Police Officer saw her Mom with her and assumed her Mom had kidnapped a White Child and put her Mom in Jail. Her Grandma went up the station and begged the Police to let her out and told her how that was infact her daughter's child and after the Police were satisfied that no White Children were missing in the community they let her Mother go and they gave her back to her Mother.

Not trying to check you, but I find I get alot of backhand comments said concerning my dark skin.

I've probably said this many times. Most of my family members are light skin. But growing up they made me feel so bad about being dark.

My used to be Best Friend and I were walking around a store and this lady said "You two look like twins!" and my friend got really upset and defensive and said "No we don't. I'm not as dark as her!"

My Mom probably doesn't realize it but she makes those comments too when she always tells my Brother how he has such a nice complexion. One time she said it directly infront of me, and my Dad had to check her and say "Dee, has a nice complexion too" but at that point I didn't care. They both only said that so I wouldn't feel inferior to my Brother.

Recently my niece started playing Sims and I was helping her create a Sims character that looked like her (We made her a character with a caramel complexion like she has). After we did that my Brother laughed and said "You know what you should do? You should make your character ugly" and my younger Sister jumped in and said "Yeah, you should make her skin darker". It pissed me off that my sister thinks dark skin is hand in hand with being ugly. My sister says backhand comments like that all the time. She's always comparing skin color to even other family members. God forbid she is darker than another family member.

I hear people make sly comments like that to me all time and the older I get the more I'm just letting them go, instead of just wishing I was like my siblings color. To be honest I love my skin color now and wouldn't trade with my sister if she paid me which is very unlikely she would want to do that. She would rather kill herself first. lol

[font="Comic Sans MS"]No problems here with my kids. I couldn't be happier with them and people are very nice and complimentary towards them. I feel sad if others aren't having the same experiences I am having. [/font]

The girl who used to follow behind my posts in attempts to make me more PC and correct me, I don't think is around right now. but anyway I agree and I can relate. It was a process of loving myself and being happy with myself because others tried to tear me down because of my dark skin, but now I feel like my dark skin is the reason for many of my blessings. I can now say I wouldn't change a thing and I am glad you are happy with yourself now too. There is so much skin color issues that has yet to be resolved but all you can do is love yourself. And your "friend" was no friend at all. I use to put up with crappy friends but now I don't settle for things. I'm just loving me so much right now, maybe too much, loving my husband out the door because I have no tolerance for some of the shit I used to take off of him. This also goes for family too. Abuse is no longer acceptable in anyform in my life.

I haven't noticed any ill treatment toward my daughters. One time a little girl at church said to my older daughter "Oh, I didn't know your dad was white", when my husband picked her up. He told me about it but it wasn't a big deal. Kids are curious, and often if they don't have friends or family members that are diverse, they don't really understand. I have a problem when adults who should know better open their mouths without thinking. I have only had this happen once, but I was walking toward a store with my daughters and a bm said, "are you babysitting?", I politely said "no" and kept walking and I could hear him saying, "oh sorry, sorry." I have to let those things roll off my back and I find it better not to have a huge reaction so that my kids don't think something wrong has happened. They are still young, so I don't want them worrying about what people are thinking of them as they pass them in the street or wherever they may be. I am dark (as you can see in my pic) but I absolutely love my skin tone. It wasn't always like that, but I also had a mother who didn't make me feel like I should be lighter or darker or whatever. I see how family members can do that to each other and it just makes me sad. We have to remember not to do that to our kids. Celebrate their differences whatever they are. So, back to the question, I really don't know. With respect to my kids, I would say no. I haven't experienced anything negative toward my kids based on my skin. At least, not that I'm aware of.

Isn't it pathetic that some African Americans are so consumed with someone's skin color...rather than get the chance to see the beauty of another person? It's horrible that the Black community is still concerned with color and hair texture, can't seem to eradicate the long ago slave mentality. It's wonderful that White guys can embrace darker skin tones and appreciate how lovely and wonderful it truly is.

Not really, but there isn't much of a comparative context over here in Belgium to start with. having a mixed family is something that's new - and thus without context - to nearly everyone we meet. It can be tiring to have to explain things all the time, but there are very few negative prejudiced that the children are subjected to, apart from the usual insensitivity that young children show towards everyone that is different in one way or another.
It is far more problematic for my wife though, but that's another story altogether.

my kids' friends have no problem of seeing a black mother and white father. my kids just wanna know why their mother is black and I'm white.

i have two older kids that are mostly black or black father last is by a white father. i treat them all the same . my daughter use to say "i have a black brother and i have a white brother" it was people that got a little embrass by it . ps they are all pretty kids cause im their mother

Justme, I think letting it roll off your back is the best way to deal with it. It's inevitable that some adults may say or do something ignorant or insensitive when they should know better, but really don't know better. That man who asked you if you were babysitting may have asked that question without really thinking, but I am glad to hear he was apologetic. Sometimes it's a matter of ignorance without malice.

You are the one that has to protect your child from generations of verbal abuse and put downs by blacks to blacks. Why even deal with them? It's like you still need their approval or something. They are not going to say good things about your daughter because earth to Spice, they are hating. Hellooooo. It will sink in one day.

I find this interesting because I have been that child. My mother was just ruthless. She would cut people to the quick making comments about us, but it was the opposite. My personal feeling is that stupid should hurt. When they say those ignorant things, they should get a searing pain, like lightning coursing through their brain.

My sister has two children by her ex husband, who is white. Because we are mixed, her kids really do not very "black", whatever that means these days. One is brown eyed and one is blue eyed. Her son looks more "something" than her daughter. My sister, like my mother, does not play.

I am not sure if they are treated differently based on their mother, but either way gets looks and comments.

When my stepmother gave birth to my youngest sister, she caught it. My dad is dark and so is my sister. They would triple check her tags in the hospital to make sure she was the mother and the nurses made crazy comments. (My dad like the pigmentally challenged women!) My sister and I (by the same mother) are both light.

It is so crazy sometimes for me. My children are by black men (I have been married twice) and one of them is dark. I love his complexion and call him my "chocolate bunny". My other 3 are more my complexion and I have received comments about how he doesn't look like he belongs. I just tell people where to go!!

My SO(wm) takes my kids everywhere and no one has said anything to him!

LOL! At any given moment there would be throngs of people having seizures and flopping around like fish out out of water.